I've got a gay brother.
In fact, I have five brothers. And I have to say that my gay brother is one of my favorites. I enjoy my time with him immensely.
There, I've said it.
Does that mean I'm compromising with my belief that same-sex physical relationships are wrong?
I don't think so.
He knows how I feel about his lifestyle. We had that discussion a long time ago. "Argument" would be a better word. Even "confrontation." We got it all out in the open one evening. We went back and forth for about three hours and got nowhere. He felt one way. I felt the other.
Since then, we've been remarkably close. A lot closer, in fact.
I don't think he expects me to change my opinion. And I don't think he's about to change his "lifestyle." But there's a mutual respect there between us, a recognition that each must choose his course in life. We've learned to build a relationship on those things we have in common, like being a part of the same family.
It's not that we avoid the subject, either. His longtime companion died recently of prostate cancer. My brother nursed him for the last three years of his life, the last few months being quite difficult for him. I knew he must be going through a great deal of pain as a relationship of almost 25 years drew to a close. I called whenever I could. He called me early one Sunday before calling any of my other brothers who all live locally (I live 4,000 miles away) to tell me that Bob had died. I said I was "sorry" and we talked for a while, remembering Bob, whom I saw whenever I visited my brother.
Some of you may be uncomfortable with that.
I know this because of letters I receive from people and conversations I've had with Church members who have difficulty going to family reunions because they feel awkward around a gay family member's lover.
Why?
This is the way I look at it.
We've all sinned (Romans 3:23). Homosexual sex is a sin, yes. All of us agree on that point. But so is heterosexual sex outside of marriage. According to my local newspaper, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia) now claims that almost all Americans today are not virgins when they get married. About one quarter manage to abstain until six months before they get married, but even they seem to give in after they are engaged. Should we avoid them all because they've sinned? Research shows that even members of conservative religious organizations today are just as bad as the unchurched. So, do we stop going to church lest we become contaminated?
And, just wait a minute, if that many are not virgins when they get married, that likely includes some of our own kids and other people in the congregation—should we shun them too?
Let's face it—we live in an age of sexual license. Anything goes. That doesn't make any of it right. But we can't avoid coming into contact with people who are breaking God's laws.
Follow Christ's Example
What would Jesus do?
The answer is clear to me in Matthew, chapter 9, beginning in verse 9. "As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And He said to him, 'Follow Me.' So he arose and followed Him.
"Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, 'Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?'
"When Jesus heard that, He said to them, 'Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: "I desire mercy and not sacrifice." For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance'" (Matthew 9:9-13).
Jesus mixed with sinners. "Sin is the transgression of the law" (1 John 3:4, King James Version). All men have sinned (Romans 3:23), except Jesus Christ, who was "without sin" (Hebrews 4:15). Now, if Jesus was without sin, He must have had a reputation in that regard when He was alive. Jesus was open enough that people knew where He stood. Yet sinners were still drawn to Him. They felt comfortable in His presence. Presumably, He did not feel the need to continually harangue them about their respective "lifestyles."
That does not mean He compromised with sin. Rather, He knew that people would only repent when they were ready. Eventually, as people learn the negative consequences of sin, they want to change. That's what repentance is all about. And when they want to change, they will turn to somebody they feel close to, somebody they feel will understand.
That's what Jesus Christ would have been—somebody who understood. Still is. That's why we can go to Him with any of our problems today—because He "was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15).
We should walk as He walked (1 John 2:6). Sinners should feel comfortable around us. We're talking here about a domestic setting. Jesus was "in the house." It was a kind of family reunion, with friends. We're not talking about meeting sinners in gay bars or adult movie theaters!
There really should not be any problem at a family reunion, no matter who your brother, sister or uncle bring. Each of us can be polite, warm and friendly.
Just as Jesus was at Matthew's house.
This article appears in the following topics: Homosexuality / Same-Sex Attraction